Astrid reviews the "Classics":Return to Oz

Two days of rest and relaxation. Two days to catch up on the meaningless things in life. So what do i do? I watch the idiot box. I could be checking out the books i brought with me, or pouring over scrolls i need to learn spells from, But no, i watch Television. So theres some movies out there I have not watched yet, and need to, and apparently from what Stella tells me, Return to Oz is one of them. Well i watched it, and now i wondering what kinda freaked out acid trip Stella was on when she reccomended it to me. Why? Well here goes... Well first off, One of Stella's (and Mine) favorite bands, is named after the princess in the Movie (Ozma) i didnt think this movie would be so far from left field. I mean have you seen it? The damn wheelers? The Junkie looking lunatics that wheel around on oversized rollerblade wheels on their hands AND feet? You tell me those fuckers werent shooting up when they werent on camera. And that creepy princess Mombi? With her 30 LIVING heads? How fucked up is that? Shit one of them looked like my mother when she was alive (not the mombi head though...) And lets not forget the Royal Army of Oz. Was it me or was it a metal representaion of that round american president Teddy rosevelt? I mean the moustach, his barrel like body, and the vacant expression in his creepy green eyes? I mean the story is solid enough, Dorothy has to go back and help save oz form the big bad gnome king (who suspiciously looks like the doctor thats trying electricute her in the beginning) but thats were it goes south. the bad guys outnumber the goodones i this, theres not muchkins (which im glad for, creepy midgets) and Oz is surrounded by a desert that will turn you to sand if you set there. Im sorry but that spells scary to a child, hell it spells scary to me and im a demons sorceress. So i sat there, watching this abortion of a classic childerns film with Linus and have decided that SOMEONE that was involved with that crazy show from the 70's H.R. Puf n Stuff had a hand in this. Dark Fantasy? Yes. Scary? Hell yea. Bizzare? you better believe it. And im never watching it again. just plain... creepy.